Lipgloss & BeerNo Drama.

So it’s the day before the BIG DAY! How am I feeling? Fine, rested and NERVOUS beyond belief. How do I deal? Main way is to not think about it…at all! However, I’ll set that aside and let myself break out in hives just so I can type this post. I keep imagining what all tomorrow will involve. I’m sure tomorrow morning will be focused of getting ready and being prepared.

There are thoughts of the waiting room and being called in and then the dreaded IV. I have a phobia of needles. It stems from childhood memories which I’ll get into more down the road. I’ve was poked and prodded at. As I’ve said before I’m petite and always have been, so me getting stuck by needles was less than pleasant as I have tiny veins. During my pregnancy I was pretty much over this fear with all the times I had to go in and get blood work done. Then the day of delivery I got jabbed with the IV needle and the blood vessel blew out. OUCH. It was the most painful thing out of the entire labor process was that IV. I know people look at me as though I’m crazy to state that but it’s true. When the nurse would ask me to rate my pain for the contractions I would state, not as bad as my arm and the IV. So there’s a big part of me that is stressed just over the IV.

As I keep turning to my husband and saying, “I’m nervous”. He continues to tell me things will be fine. We have one of the best doctors. Lots of people have this done. I persist telling him how nervous I am and that I’m scared, as if the next time he says everything will be fine will magically be the cure to all my nervousness.

I’m struggling with even knowing how common this operation is…I can’t in my mind wrap around the fact it’s “normal” because it’s not. It’s not normal to want to put fake anything inside your body and feel ok with it. Well, it’s normal to our society but maybe the better term for it is that it’s not natural. Then again, much of what I do isn’t a natural thing. My hair is colored, my nails aren’t always made up but when they are they are nothing but acrylic, I cover my face with powder and makeup, so I suppose not being so “natural” is pretty normal. Now, I’m beginning to sound a bit high maintenance. Which I’m really not because if you knew me I really only go maybe 2-3 times a year to get my hair or nails done. It’s not a weekly or monthly religious rate.

So what were we talking about, awe yes, how could I forget, the dreaded and much wanted BIG DAY. I say Big because it’s a big day for me…not in reference to size that I’m opting for. I’m not going for the Dolly Parton look. Just something nice, noticeable but not in your face Hey World Look at my GIRLS, I’ve got huge knockers kind of thing.

This might be my last post here for the next couple of days. I have no idea the pain I’ll be in afterwards. I’m assuming I’ll be pretty sick as I do most anytime I have anesthesia. Just get through tomorrow and knock me out with pain pills. Again not so much of a ‘natural’ solution, but there’s no shame in drugs, not when it’s what the doctor orders! So keep me in your thoughts and prayers if you would. I hear the clock tick tick ticking away…the count down of hours has begun!